


Fellow Feeling

by Gebiurl (fookin_tossah)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 20:40:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5306054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fookin_tossah/pseuds/Gebiurl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Definition:<br/>Fellow Feeling:<br/>(Noun) 1. Sympathy and fellowship existing between people based on shared experiences or feelings 2. A kick ass Porter Robinson song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fellow Feeling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [louiszayn (thirlwall)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thirlwall/gifts).



> Stepped up as a pinchhitter but I've been sick for too long and I'm still sick and stuck doing make up work from my classes cause I'm lazy. So instead of taking all of the online tests, I wrote this instead. I didn't read it over or anything. All mistakes are my own. Also. I just really love Porter Robinson, apparently. Idek. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

Liam was buzzing in his seat on the bus, practically salivating at all the information being thrown at him. He sat quietly and sucked up every bit of information thrown at him, never once speaking or allowing Zayn to speak. He needed to learn about Athens and everything else about Greece.

Athens was Liam’s pick. It’s not like Zayn _didn’t_ want to go to Athens, it’s just that he would rather be somewhere else entirely. His favorite was next on the list. He was ready for that.

Greece was hot, beautiful, but really hot and sunny. It’s not....it’s not where he feels like he belongs. He stands out, with the big headphones around his neck and the slightly disinterested look in his eyes. Yeah, he sticks out but Liam fits right in with the other tourists.

His best mate takes pictures and nods at the tour guides, like right now. He even took the window seat so he could better look at the things and Zayn’s trying hard to not nod off. He signed up for a vacation, not a bloody history lesson.

He doesn’t complain out loud, only in his head as this drones on. Until the bus stops and allows them all to get out of there. His eyes close as the blazing sun attacks his eyes, groaning outwardly. He can’t help it. He’s roasting.

“Maybe if you wore less layers you wouldn’t be so grouchy,” Liam tells him, breaking him away from a chain of negative thoughts.

“Maybe if we actually picked somewhere we wanted to go I wouldn’t be so grouchy.”

“Hey, this isn’t so bad. Japan is next, that’ll be cool.”

“Yeah,” Zayn agrees without more thought to it.

He had expected this trip to be full of random exploring and night adventures down in weird places neither of them knew of. But no. They went with the stupid tour place that sent them on these different excursions with specific times and it was not what he had signed up for. Not at all.

But he manages a smile at Liam and nods. He takes off one of his layers and steals Liam’s water and feels immediately better. They walk down to the ruins, only getting a certain amount of feet near it, it’s closed for the general public. Liam takes loads of pictures with his camera, having to zoom in to get a good shot.

Zayn huffs loudly. He feels like the ungrateful teenager to an overly excited father. Which isn’t how it should be, but is. Liam should be helping make Zayn feel better, but he’s not.

“Quit pouting over there and come take a selfie with me, show the world how happy you are.”

Zayn grins at that and gets beside Liam, smiling into the camera with his tongue poking between his teeth and a giant building behind him.

 _#Athens #bestfriends_ , Liam types onto his instagram and posts it, nodding at himself before closing his phone up.

“You’re ridiculous,” Zayn accuses him.

“You’re not ridiculous enough. We’re on holiday together, mate, you should be happy.”

“Yeah, well. I’m trying. I just can’t seem to get into the spirit of things,” the older one admits, shaking his head as he stares off into the distance.

He’s meant to be back in London, studying for finals and saving this money up for the wedding of his and his high school sweet heart’s dreams. But he’s not.

He’s not in London, Hell, he’s not even on speaking terms with his fiance..... _ex-fiance_. He forgets sometimes. But at his little community college back home, he finds that everyone knows about him, knows that he randomly dumped her one day and took off the next month on some random trip with his best mate, blowing both his hard-earned money and whatever the government decided to give him for school. He needs this though. He needed to get away and escape it all.

He asked Perrie for time and space and she’s giving it to him. He just doesn’t know....he doesn’t know if he can live that life forever.

“Stop thinking, Zayn. I can feel you thinking, it’s making my brain hurt.”

“Sorry, mate.”

“Perrie, again, huh?”

Zayn nods and then shakes his head. “Just everything, mate. Feel like I’m just not cut out to be an English teacher.”

“Everyone thinks that every once in awhile.”

“So you regret going into sports medicine?”

“Sometimes. But I really like it, so far.

Zayn nods. He hates English and teaching. That had been his whole life before....well, before he found what it felt like to make music. Everyone saw the change in him, from quiet, meek Zayn to quiet, inspired, artist Zayn. They saw him become, and they saw him break.

Liam and Zayn get back on the bus, travelling around to two more other sights before they’re driven back to their hotel to get sleep. They have an early tomorrow, but Zayn--that’s why he left London for a bit. Why he asked Perrie to give him time to sort out what was in his head, he was unsatisfied. And today hasn’t proven itself any different. He’s left with a hunger for more to experience, not to be left asking himself: _is this all?_

His resolve is broken as he gets back into their hotel room. “I’m not--we should go out.”

“They don’t have anymore things planned---

“I know, I know. Just...I’m like crawling out of my skin. I just need a bit of a release, yeah? It’s fucking Athens, I’m sure they've got a place to drink and shit.”

Liam thinks it over, smiling a bit and nodding. “I’m sure we could find a club or something.”

The other smiles and nods. “Yes. Please. I just need something with less thinking and more drinking.”

“You’re terrible.”

“I know.”

 

.....................................................................

 

“I did not come to Greece only to not ever go home with some tall, dark, and handsome man. Harry, I need it. Need. Do you know how long it’s been since the last time I..... _smushed_ ” Louis whispers the last word.

“Smushed?” Harry replies, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as they take pictures from inside a church.

“It means....Harry, I can’t say it. We’re in a church.”

“Oh, for Go--Pete’s sake,” Harry corrects himself quickly, putting the camera down.

“It’s from Jersey Shore. They said smush instead of.....S-E-X,” Louis whispers.

“I’m sure God can spell, Lou.”

“Oh fuck’s sake.”

“Louis!”

“Sorry!”

“Can’t take you anywhere,” Harry sighs and continues taking pictures.

Louis looks around at the other tourists. “Please? Come on. We can go to a club after this, unwind a bit.”

“I’m meant to be cleansing, getting energy from the world and people around me. I’m not supposed to be getting drunk.”

“Well.....get energy from music and sweaty bodies as we dance on beautiful men.”

“I hate you.”

“If we go now, we can still be fashionably late,” Louis giggles and grins up at his best friend.

“Fine.”

Louis squeals and leads the way back down the tall tower.

......................................................................

 

Zayn finds himself hot again, sweating and in the middle of the dance floor as bodies press around him. He laughs and throws his hands up in the air, feeling the beat of the music in his chest. This is what he wants, he wants to feel the live music all the time. But not just as an audience member, he wants to feel his own music and emotions mix into one. He wants to be the creator. But those are just pipe dreams and Zayn shoves those thoughts down deep into his head.

Liam wiggles his way towards his friend, laughing too and doing a dance move so awkward, Zayn can’t even help but to laugh at him. “See, Payne? A little liquor and dancing never hurt anyone.”

“Except my self esteem,” the younger one laughs.

The Bradford native grins, that silly tongue grin that Liam can’t help but grin back at. It’s in the middle of shouting and getting another drink that Zayn’s eyes land on a fabulously round arse, standing at the bar and arguing with the bartender.

He’s just staring when the arse turns away from him and then he hears the owner of the arse clear his throat. “Eyes up here,” the boy says and he looks up into bright blue eyes that are glaring at him.

“Oh. Sorry,” Zayn says quickly, entranced by the pretty cool hues of the eyes, only to smirk at the sassiness that follows.

“Right. You better be sorry, didn't your mother teach you not to stare?”

“Listen, mate, I said I was sorry,” Zayn replies.

“You better be--oh. Oh. Your accent’s familiar--you British too?” the boy stops being angry and he smiles now as he looks over Zayn with interest. “Doncaster!”

“Bradford,” Zayn laughs in reply, looking over the boy again quickly.

“Practically neighbors.”

“Practically,” he replies.

The boy is pretty, with a pretty tan and a small mouth--small everything, really. Except his bum, which is gloriously round and plump and will probably get him in trouble again, but he just can’t stop staring at it.

“Sorry I stared, it was rude,” Zayn says suddenly and the boy shrugs.

“Eh. It happens. I’m Louis.”

“Zayn.”

That’s the only introduction they get, next thing Zayn knows, he’s back on the dance floor, except there’s the glorious bum grinding back against him, and his hands are on Louis’ hips, just there to feel not guide. Louis feels great, smells great, tastes great. He gets to taste him when Louis turns around and Zayn buries his fingers in the short, brown hair and kisses him. Louis kisses him back.

They keep kissing, and Louis giggles against his mouth. They eventually move from the club down to the streets, stumbling all the way back to Zayn’s hotel room, which Louis thoroughly appreciates being away from all of the nature stuff and back into the modern world.

He giggles, still a bit tipsy, as Zayn’s mouth travels down his neck and removes his shirt and Louis just cannot complain one bit that night. He gets thoroughly fucked into the mattress a couple of times before he and Zayn just fall asleep in the bed together, only waking up a little while later when there’s someone shushing the other and then another door opening and closing.

Louis doesn’t pay it much attention before he falls back to sleep, waking up hours later, groggy and sore but feeling good. There’s a warm arm laying over his back, slightly painful now that it’s been hours since that it’s probably been lying there. And it’s too hot. He groans and wiggles away from the other boy, sitting up in the bed and getting out of it, quietly grabbing his jeans and shoes and shirt. He gets dressed, feeling satisfied at what happened the night before with the stranger.

He’ll be ok now to finish Harry’s cleansing tour and it’ll be good. He walks out of the room and smells food--awkward? He steps out quietly and glances into the kitchen and then-- “Harold?” He asks, stopping in his tracks as he sees Harry, cooking away in the kitchen and another bloke laughing with him. “Did you follow me last night?”

Harry turns his head and grins, shaking his head. “No. I followed Liam home last night after you went with his mate....”

“Zayn,” the Liam fellow offers.

“Zayn!” Harry laughs and nods. “Yeah. Him.”

“How--why---”

“Oh. We’re on the same football club back in London. Weird seeing him all the way here, small world, huh?”

 

............................................................

 

Zayn and Louis don’t make eye contact as Harry and Liam laugh over the table about their favorite football team, and a lot of other things they have in common. Like friends, and....other stuff? Louis’ not sure. His toast is a lot more interesting and Zayn’s eggs interest him a lot too.

“So how do you two know each other?” Harry asks with a wicked grin.

“I--’

“We--’

They interrupt each other.

“Last night,” Louis starts.

“Yeah. At the club.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

They sip from their tea at the same time.

“The club was pretty fun,” Harry says and Liam nods as he drinks his coffee.

“Definitely. Z, turns out that Harry and Louis are doing the same tour as us. Here, Japan, and then Cologne,” Liam says happily.

“Except we’re a day ahead,” Harry supplies.

“Yeah. But, I mean, we’re still together, pretty much.”

Harry nods in agreement and slides over more bacon to Louis’ plate. Louis raises the new piece of bacon to his mouth and eats it slowly. _Well, this is going to be interesting_ , he thinks to himself.

 

........................................

  
Zayn finds himself on the bus next to Louis, both of them sitting silently and a little awkwardly. He can still remember the taste of Louis’ mouth, still hears the way Louis would moan his name under him. It makes something in his stomach tighten, want rising again. But he shakes that out of his head and instead pulls out little headphones this time.

He puts one in before offering the other one to Louis, who seems to hate these long tour-guided bus tours as much as he does. The other lad gives him a thankful look before accepting it and placing it in his own ear. Louis feels like he’s in middle school again, getting a bit giggly over someone sharing their headphones.

He doesn’t know the music, but it’s very beat heavy--just not in the way that he’s used to. Definitely not something you could dance to in a club.

They stay silent as the tour drags on, putting the headphones up when it’s time to get out and enjoy the scenery and they both look a little miserable. And it’s getting darker when Louis looks down at the city of Athens below, the lights showing and Louis smirks as he gets an idea.

“Do you think we could bust out of here?” Louis whispers to Zayn.

Zayn slowly sneaks a look behind him to Liam and Harry, taking selfies in front of the buildingsand then looks forward again. “With or without the nerd herd?” He jokes.

“Without. Harry’s on a cleanse and would cramp my style. And we can’t leave Liam alone.”

Zayn nods in agreement, “Liam’s always on a cleanse. He thinks it’s his duty to protect and father everyone. He always cramps style.”  
“So it’s settled, we bust out of here in ten seconds when they get further away from us. It’s a clear shot, not even that far of a run to the city,” Louis says.

“And once we get to the city, they’ll lose sight of us anyways,” Zayn agrees and sneaks a glance back.

“On three?”

“On three.”

They stay silent, waiting, until Louis says “three” and then they take off running. It was a roundabout trip so they were almost back to the city anyways, but this way they don’t have to listen to more history lessons and can go enjoy whatever they want. They laugh loudly as they hear Harry and Liam shout for them both. They don’t stop, not until they’re safe in the bright city, masked by the people there already--blending in perfectly.

They pant heavily, laughing like mad, walking slowly to catch their breath and keep distance between them and their mates. “I can’t believe I just abandoned Liam,” Zayn laughs.

“I can’t either,” Louis admits, taking Zayn’s wrist and leading him up some stairs that are crowded with plants and little balconies, every few steps on the side there’s a flat surface with a table and two chairs and Zayn realizes Louis’ managed to get them to go to a little restaurant.

It’s beautiful inside, more of a local thing than a tourist thing--food is way more authentic. They opt to sit outside because the night air is so nice and they sit with wine and their food before them.

Zayn smiles and watches as Louis’ cheeks get pinker the more he drinks. It’s not enough to get him drunk, barely buzzed, really. It’s relaxing. “So you and Harry are really good mates?” Zayn asks, breaking their silence.  
“Is that your way of asking me if I’m dating Harry?” Louis laughs.

“Yes.”

“No. I’m not. I wouldn’t’ve slept with you if I was dating anyone,” Louis says and looks at Zayn. “I assume you and Liam are just friend then, as well?”

Zayn nods. “I’m less of the faithful type, but yeah, I’m single now.”

Louis nods. “I appreciate your honesty,” he says and chuckles.

The other boy snorts a bit and nods. “Yeah. Wish I was....wish I was less of the Taylor Swift ex bad guy, but I’m not,” he says.

“Can’t feel too bad for ya, mate,” Louis admits. “You do kind of choose that life.”

“Yeah,” Zayn agrees. “I do. But--but it’s like...I get to the point where I question if that’s what I really want and then I wonder if there’s something out there that better and...yeah. Yeah. Alright. I’m a shitty guy. I’m a fuckboy,” Zayn huffs.

“You are,” Lou agrees and nods. “But it’s--it’s weird hearing a guy admit that, ya know?”

“I guess?  
“No. Most guys when they’re cheaters they’re all like trying to justify why they were in the right, you’re not. You know that’s shitty and you know why you do it, but you don’t stop.”

“No. I don’t.”

“Why’s that?”  
“Because I want to have my cake and eat it too.”

Louis nods. “I don’t have much room to judge. I say I stay faithful but, truth is, I haven’t been in an actual relationship in years. Lord knows if I could stay faithful,” Louis admits.

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

“Because I have a habit of fucking up good things because I’m scared,” Louis says and his eyes look raw to Zayn, raw and completely open.

“Scared of commitment?”

He nods in response. “I’m scared they’ll wake up one day and realize I’m not what they want.”

“And I’m scared of waking up one day and realizing that the life I’ve chosen for me isn’t what I want,” Zayn replies softly. “I--it’s--I was with this girl for a really long time. I did her wrong, she stuck by me, I thought that that was it. She was the one for me,” Zayn says, and his eyes are distant. “I thought I had my life completely figured out. About a year ago, I knew exactly what I wanted and I was working so fucking hard for it.”

“What happened?”

“I woke up and realized it wasn’t what I wanted. Not at all. And....and I tried. I tried really hard but it wasn’t just her that I didn’t want anymore, it was my job, my school, my place, some friends. I lost it for a while,” he admits quietly. “And I did things I regret, but I also like--I found a little piece of me in doing the wrong things, ya know.’

“You’ve got to fuck up to know what you want and don’t want to be. I don’t think I want to hurt another person like I did, or disappoint them. And I also know I don’t want that life that’s waiting for me back in London and it’s scary cause even with this trip it’s like...it’s like just biding time before I have to go home and face it all again,” Zayn finishes up.

“You don’t want to go back at all, do you?” Louis asks.

Zayn shakes his head. “It’s--what I want to do...what I really want to be is stupid and unattainable,” he says.

“Which is?”

“It’s stupid.”  
“Oh come on,” Louis laughs. “You literally open up to me, tell me about how you pretty much hate yourself because you’re living an unsatisfied life and you can’t tell me what your dream job is?”

Zayn laughs. “Well when you put it like that....”

“I promise not to laugh.”

He huffs and nods, drinking more wine before he sets it back down and nods. “I want to be a DJ.”

Louis smiles at him and nods. “Yeah? I thought you said it was silly, I was expecting something silly. I think you’d be a great DJ. You’ve got the look.”

The younger lad grins at him. “Think so?”

“Yeah. Definitely. Is that what we were listening to? Your music?”

Zayn blushes now and looks away, nodding a bit.

“Mate, it was great. It was brilliant. I loved it,” Louis says happily.

He sees the shift in Zayn now as the other lad starts to talk about music, sees something else in his eyes: passion.

 

............................................................

“Harry, he’s a sweetheart.”

“You just told me he’s a self proclaimed cheating whore,” Harry argues.

“Well. That’s what makes him sweet. Duh. But like, the way he was talking about his music and who inspired him. Some DJ from the states, apparently. The kid is amazing too, let me listen to some of his stuff and like, apparently he got sick of regular EDM music and went and did his own thing and Zayn wants to do that, wants to help bring something new to that side of music.”  
“Uh huh, I see.”

“It’s so cool. The kid has a whole concept album and stuff and Zayn--well, his doesn’t really have a concept, but it’s pretty much about connecting different parts of his life together and is that a concept? I guess it is. But it’s so fucking cool,” Louis gushes in the taxi. He and Zayn had agreed to finally let Harry and Liam know where they are, they all met up, had more drinks, and now he’s on his way back to the hotel. They’ve got another couple of days left there and Louis has so many questions to ask Zayn.

“So...this guy you like so much, what’s his concept about?” Louis asks the second he and Zayn are on the bus again.

“It’s about him and a robot girl falling in love and yeah. I like take a different view on it,” Zayn explains.

“What’s your view?”

“Mines like....I’m really into art. I’m not the best at it but I love it and I grew up being nerdy and watching anime, and the album to me is about getting lost and falling in love with that fictional world, finding a home in fiction, and then, like, letting it go for the real world,” he says.

“To you it’s about escaping and then being forced to come home,” Louis says and watches as Zayn’s face falls a bit but he nods.

“Exactly.”  
They make their own great escape for lunch, and again at the end of the night to go to a club. Running away from Liam and Harry at random times becomes their favorite parts of the days together, making messes and sneaking off. They end up sneaking into certain places too.

“This is the coliseum,” Louis murmurs.

“You’d think that they’d have more security around it.”

“Maybe they do and the police are on their way right now to arrest us,” Zayn points out and Louis looks at him with fear in his eyes but determination to still not leave.

“We’ll leave when they come then,” he says.

“Together?”

“Together.”

Louis hates that this is their last night in Greece. That when they get to Japan, they won’t even be near each other. He checked. Harry chose more of a traditional hotel while Zayn and Liam chose to be in the city.

Zayn lights up a cigarette and sits down as Louis stands in the middle of the coliseum. “What do you want to be, Louis?”

The older boy smiles and shrugs. “I just want to be happy....and loved.”

The Bradford native grins at that and smokes silently as he watches Louis inspect things. And when Zayn finishes his cigarette, he walks down and places his hand on the other boy’s hip, other hand coming up to cup his jaw. “You deserve to be happy and loved, Lou,” Zayn whispers. “I’ve never met anyone like you.”

“Is it cause I’m annoying?” Louis laughs softly, trying to make everything light hearted but it’s not working.

Zayn chuckles and shakes his head. “No. You’re far from it,” he says quietly. “You’re....you’re like this fictional world,” he starts. “You’re an escape from reality.”

“Will you miss me when I’m gone?”

“I miss you already,” Zayn replies honestly. “It’s hard to let go of dream worlds, Lou. I don’t want to wake up.”

Louis wants to tell him he doesn’t have to. He never has to wake up. Louis never has to leave. But he doesn’t. He kisses Zayn and takes him back to his hotel, and they have sex again.

When Zayn wakes up, it’s to the cleaning lady shouting about his nakedness and Louis is long gone. Zayn smiles a bit and leaves, finishing the rest of the Athens tour with a sad, longing smile on his face. It’s hard saying goodbye to a world.

 

.............................................................................

 

Zayn watched as the lights of the city go by, any thoughts masked and drowned out by the sounds his headphones were producing. But that was the beauty of this, being able to enjoy the ride to their hotel without worrying about needing to make conversation with Liam.

Liam was knocked out peacefully on his own side of the bus and Zayn can’t help but smile a bit as the other one drools. The train picks up a bit of speed as it goes all the way around the city and then through it, to the station.

He has to shake Liam awake once they’re there, smiling as the other gives him big, confused eyes before realizing why he’s being woken up. “We’re here?”

“Yeah, you missed the good part,” Zayn chuckles, taking off his headphones and tucking them away into their case before he stands up and grabs his bags.

“What was the good part?”

“Seeing the city from in here,” he replies and smirks, both of them getting quiet again as they step out of the train now, taking in the sight of the large, more tech-savy station than theirs in England or Athens.

“Woah,” Liam laughs.

“We’re not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy,” Zayn quotes and shakes his head.

“I can’t believe it. We’re here.”

“And you said you didn’t want to go to Tokyo,” Zayn laughs.

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to go, I just said I was more excited for Athens,” Liam corrects him and Zayn just can’t stop staring. He feels like a tiny fish in a large pond. He feels a little lost in the sea of voices and he wishes someone else were with him--someone more familiar. _It’s better this way_ , Zayn tells himself and they walk out of the station and grab a taxi.

He smiles more at Liam when the other gazes out the window, gasping and laughing and hitting the other’s leg to get his attention when something captures his attention, which so happens to be everything he sees. Everything is bright and pretty and everything he’s ever dreamed of since he was a little kid.

 

Their hotel is swanky and contemporary, a place Liam would never step into unless to ask for directions. “You’ve outdone yourself, Z.”

“Well, you know what they say.”

“No....what do they say?”

“When travelling, spend as much money as you can cause you’ll spend the rest of your life miserable trying to make that money up anyways.”

Liam snorts, getting onto the glass elevator and shakes his head. “They do not say that. That’s depressing, no one would dare.”

“I’m daring,” Zayn laughs softly and shakes his head. He heads over to the large windows in the hotel, looking out to the glamorous city, shaking his head in disbelief. “Swear this still feels like a dream.”

Liam laughs and sets his bag down and moves to stand beside Zayn. “Well, it’s not,” he laughs.

Zayn sighs and then walks backwards to his own bag, moving to get his clothes out and put away. They have a week here. He puts only some of the clothes away and leaves something dark out for that night. He’s going out. Tokyo has some of the most amazing club scenes. But Zayn has one in mind: Sound Museum Vision. It’s where he’s been dying to go.

So he gets dressed and drags Liam down to the streets of Tokyo, both of them far from blending in. Their big, curious eyes trying to take it all in all at once. It’s a bit overwhelming.

They manage to get down to the club, and inside, Zayn goes still as he goes in and it’s a blast of music, people, and the lights--the fucking lights. It’s so insane, he’s never seen anything like it.

He looks over at Liam and winks before he disappears into the crowd and that’s what he’s wanted for a while now, since everything went to shit back home. But here? No one knows of the things he’s done or with who. No one cares.

He gets a few drinks in him and lets go, dancing around with complete strangers, laughing and forgetting about everything in the world, or that the world even exists. Everything is a blur and everything is hazy, until bright blue eyes focus him in again, and then they’re gone and Zayn chasing after them.

In his drunken haze, everything is slow but the blue eyes are fast. But he has to catch them. He grabs at a small arm and the head snaps back and he sees the blue eyes again, but they’re not the blue eyes from Athens. These are new, these are different. They don’t belong to who Zayn wants them to belong to.

“The dream is over,” Zayn whispers and the person gives him a wear look before walking away, leaving Zayn standing there alone.

 

...................................................

 

Harry walks over barefooted, sitting on the ground to drink the tea at the little table as Louis looks through the internet on the laptop.

“What happened to going off the grid?” Harry asks.

“I am off the grid, I’m not updating my twitter or insta or anything. I’m googling,” Louis says.

“What’re you googling?”

“Ways to kill myself without offending anyone,” he says.

“Lou.”

“I’m dying a slow and painful death, Harry. I wasn’t meant for cleanses. I was meant to have fun and party.”

“Well....well... I can call up Liam and Zayn,” Harry offers and Louis stops typing.

“No. It’s fine,” he says quickly.

“I am meeting Liam up eventually, ya know? Probably tomorrow. You can come. I’m sure Zayn’s coming along. You can’t avoid him forever.”

“He said I was a dream,” Louis whispers.

“You are.”

“And he needs to wake up from it, can’t stay asleep forever, ya know?”

“You’re getting poetic on me, Zayn did a number on you in a few days, didn’t he?” Harry asks and Louis refuses to answer.

 

............................................................

 

Zayn stands around with all of the people dancing and the music loud and it’s everything he’s wanted but...but he feels it again. Feels the longing for more. But it’s not for a something. It’s for a someone. He wants to share this with someone. He doesn’t want to be alone.

Liam finds again, grabbing his arm and Zayn lets him be lead out of the club now, back to their hotel to sleep off that first night away. And if Zayn dreams of blue eyes and tan skin in Athens, no one can judge him.

He wakes up the next morning with Liam on his phone, already dressed. “I’m meeting Harry up in a bit. Want to join?” He asks.

The older boy groans a bit but nods. Harry will be there with Louis. Maybe they can....he doesn’t know. But he still gets up and gets dressed, making sure to look good. He leaves his headphones at the hotel as they head out to meet the other two.

 

..............................

  
  


“Look. It’s a five and a half hour drive down to Tokyo, but if we take whatever this little symbol says, it’s only three and a half,” Harry says and points to the green symbol on Google Maps on his laptop.

“Harry, I’m on a _cleanse_ ,” Louis huffs mockingly but goes over and looks at the little symbol.

“Lou, you’re not. I am. We’re in Japan, all you’ve done is mope in here, I’m giving you a chance to have fun.”

Louis rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “I like the peacefulness of here,” he says.

“Louis, you’re a bloody liar.”

Louis can admit, the Kyoto Gardens is a place out of a fairytale. It’s so quiet here, untouched by too much of the modern world. It is very relaxing. But relaxing is only fun if you have stuff to blow steam off with too. You need something that winds you up and is too much, too loud, too overwhelming to want to come back to this completely different world.

Downtown Tokyo is where all of that is. They can even get some cheap motel down there just for that night and then be back in the morning and do....whatever the else Harry wants. Like visit temples and shop some more.

“Fine. I really do need this. I’m on a cleanse,” Louis says and smirks up at his best mate.

“A cleanse of what?”

“A cleanse of a cleanse. I need to cleanse myself of all this tranquility,” Lou replies. “What can I say, I’m a conundrum.”

Harry rolls his eyes and looks at the laptop screen again. “I’m trying to get away from all of that partying life. I’m not even gonna’ drink tonight. I’m only there to make sure you’re not miserable and alone.”

“Mhm. Ok. Do I click these little things to--

“Fingers off the screen,” Harry laughs and he does his thing so that he knows how to get there in the least amount of time possible.

 

..............................................

 

When Zayn finally sees Harry and Louis walking up to them, he thinks the world stops for a bit. Maybe he’s dreaming still, or not. This is an Inception moment, he doesn’t care if it is or isn’t cause if Louis is there, that’s all that matters. That’s what he really wants, regardless if the top keeps spinning or falls.

“Zayn!” Harry shouts and comes up and hugs the lad and then Liam.

Louis comes up right behind him and hugs Liam and then looks up at Zayn and Zayn looks down at him and smirks. There’s the spark he feels between them, the fellow feeling.

He leans down and hugs the smaller boy, feeling Louis slowly give in and hug him back. “Hi,” the small boy whispers and Zayn whispers it right back before pulling away.

They sit down and order food, Harry wanting to try new things as the others struggle to find something familiar. Zayn can’t help but keep looking over at Louis throughout the lunch and afterwards they all decide to walk around together.

They cross the streets, going into the shopping districts and Zayn still can’t concentrate on anything but Louis. And he leans down at some point into Louis’ ear.

“On three?”

Louis looks up at him and takes his hand, tangling their fingers together before breathing back a soft, “three.”

They grin as they start to run from Liam and Louis, laughing loudly and they don’t bother to sprint too hard, the other two never notice in time to actually stop them.

The runaways don’t have a clue where they’re going, but they escape into the city of Tokyo, going into random stores, laughing and being happy. There’s so many things to see, they even venture out of Tokyo, going to look at other tourist attractions, only to be attracted back to the city by the lights light moths to a flame.

They see the sign for the art aquarium, having no real knowledge of it, go in and pay to go walk around. And it’s the most stunning thing Louis has ever seen. He doesn’t even like aquariums like that.

There’s lights and the bowls aren’t regular bowls, they’re in different shapes and sizes and one of the floors underneath is filled with water and fish.

The last thing they see in there is this giant art piece of a fountainesque fishbowl, lit up all beautifully like something out of Macalania Woods.  Louis can’t take his eyes off of it, being lead away from it by Zayn with his hand, leaving the place to go explore more.

They get thoroughly lost, stumbling into Zayn’s hotel room late in the night after a night filled with endless adventures that they repeat the next few days. Louis finds himself sharing his bed with the other boy night after night in the magic of Tokyo.

He’s never been happier. After Tokyo they’ll go to Cologne and Louis’ ready for that. He’s ready for another city, another adventure with Zayn.

They’re at a dinner in some fancy restaurant that Louis can’t pretend to even pronounce, sitting up at the top of some building, easily looking out and smiling.

“Remember that DJ I talked to you about?” Zayn asks, smiling over at his small date.

Louis nods. “That Porter guy?”

“Porter Robinson,” Zayn nods and laughs.

“Yeah?”

“He’s coming here. Wanna go?” Louis leaves the day right after the concert, it’ll be a good temporary goodbye for them, he thinks. And then Cologne will be the permanent one.

“Uh. Duh,” Louis laughs. “That sounds like a fucking blast. Hell yeah.”

Zayn nods and that night all four of them get tickets to go to the concert. It’s all that Zayn’s ever wanted.

They get dressed that night and head out to the stadium, filling it in with the other amounts of massive people. Zayn feels small again, lost, but not like before. He feels like he wants to feel, holding Louis’ hand tightly as they make their way into the large crowd.

When it begins, it’s crazy loud with a loud beat starting and the lights just beginning for the intro, it all going crazy when the actual song starts and the American boy shows up to start the show.

Louis goes crazy and he can understand why Zayn wants all of this, they’re in a different world entirely. They’re in their own world and Louis can’t stop being happy about it.

The show carries on until the screen behind the boy go black and the music goes to a soft piano. It shows a pixelated world, slowly filling up the screen and Louis can’t tear his eyes away from it.

It all goes dark again and it’s just a soft piano before there’s a voice on top, the robot girl. “Please, hear what I hear.”

The screen comes back up and Louis just stares and feels a longing in his chest. He does hear what he hears, he hears what Zayn’s dream sound like, can feel the longing to have this life, not the one either of them have made for themselves back home. Those aren’t lives, those are fictions that they made themselves believe were them.

The voice speaks up again “I cried, for I didn't think it could be true, That you and I might have always known one another And that we could not only evoke, but conjure a place of our own And everywhere. That has ever existed Is all on the surface of our dream.”

He does cry, just a single tear as he looks up at Zayn and Zayn looks at him and they smile at each other.

“Now please, hear what I hear,” the robot girl says.

And Louis smirks and says, “on three.”

Zayn smiles and replies, “three” just as the music starts up again, loud and chaotic but perfect timing for them to run away, unable to hear anything but the song. They can’t hear Liam and Harry shouting for them. It doesn’t matter anymore, anyways.

Now this is their greatest escape, making their way out of the stadium and down to the train stations, taking one late at night. They take the last train to somewhere they don’t know. Louis lays his head on Zayn’s lap, smiling contently as they run away permanently now.

“Are you scared?” Zayn asks him and Louis shakes his head.

“Not one bit,” he says confidently. “Are you?”

“No....I’m happy.”

“Me too.”

And Zayn can’t help but lean down and kiss Louis. He can’t help but think to himself that if he’s dreaming, he’s got no intentions of ever waking up. Dreamworlds be damned, this is now his reality.

 

 


End file.
